how to build a retaining wall

because we are now the experts. this is what Sam and i worked on for seven hours on July 4th. real festive, yeah? also, just because i'm not in any of the pics doesn't mean i didn't help. because i did. i also potted plants, you can kind of notice the awesome brown and tan pot i picked up at a yard sale earlier that morning for about a buck.

step 1: dig dirt about 4-6 inches deep and a few to several inches wider than the width of your bricks
step 2: pour in leveling sand, flatten real good with a tamper (heavy square thing you can find in the shovel section)
step 3: hammer in wooden stakes the same width as your bricks where you want the wall to be, add string so you can better visualize (was this really necessary? not really)
step 3: use a leveler on top of the sand to ensure your wall does not turn out slanted
step 4: start laying down bricks, make sure they're level!
step 5: use "liquid nails" (this is the fun part) and practically glue gun on your second layer of bricks, then third layer, etc.
step 6: add gardening fabric behind your wall to separate the bricks from the dirt (to keep out the weeds), fill in space with some of the dirt you previously dug out
step 7: wah la, you have a wall ... now pat yourself on the back.


now we need to get some top soil to throw on top and start planting shrubs and flowers and stuff. i'd recommend going to Lowe's for all your retaining wall needs, they have a great selection of bricks, a really detailed brochure with step-by-step instructions including a full list of tools and supplies, and pretty friendly service.

a little housekeeping

i updated the links to all my favorite bands (in the left sidebar), in case anyone was interested. for the most part each band is linked to a live performance, which, in my opinion, is the best way to experience a favorite song. enjoy.

xo

meow, my name is what?

what is it with giving pets people names?? ever since we got a pet and went through the whole process of picking her name and everything, i feel very adamant about not naming your pet something like Samantha, Madeline, or Richard. it's just not right. not right!

people may laugh because our cat's name is Beastie, but that is because she is an animal. she's a little BEAST! the name Beastie is funny, it's cute, it's a pet's name, and most importantly, you would never name a person Beastie.

sometimes people bring in their dogs to work. last Friday, a lady brought in her giant slobbery half golden retriever/half german shepherd dog and its name was, wait for it ... Amy. Amy?! for a dog?? that's my co-worker's name, yeah, two cubicles down and to the left. hello. how would you like the same name as a dog?

there better not be an animal out there named Tatum, i will find and destroy the nutjob who named it that so fast.

i guess there are names that kind of straddle the line, like Rusty or Ginger. but still.

growing up, i had a little dog and she had the perfect little doggy mutt name, Pugsley. i think my dad came up with the name. i still miss her. she was such a good dog, always so happy, playful, and full of energy.

anyway, to pets! i love them. i don't know, it takes some creativity to name a pet. as a rule, though, just don't name them after people.

i wish ...

i had a performing talent. don't ask me to be in any talent show. i have absoltely nothing to contribute. and i'm not being modest. i have zero talent. it's really sad. anyone else watching So You Think You Can Dance right now? i'm hooked. and very, very jealous.

house and i are becoming friends

one thing i've been dying to do lately is draw on my walls. for example, check this out. or this. i also want to make a DIY headboard for our bed. and i want to paint the chairs around our dining table some sort of stand-out exciting color like orangey-red or ultra navy blue. and i want to add a very thin sleek chair rail somewhere. and this weekend a girlfriend and i are going yard sale shopping. so fun. i'll be looking for some unique pieces to start new projects with.

i'm feeling less and less overwhelmed. having a house isn't a life sentence. it's kind of fun, actually. i realize there's a lot you can do with the house besides just live in it. i can start making it into a home.

back to watching HGTV now!

books

today after work i went to Barnes & Noble and bought three books:

• The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein
• Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch
• Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters, by John Steptoe

these children's books are for a friend who is having her first baby.

when i was young, probably one of the best lessons my mom ever taught me was a love for books and a good story. maybe that's one of the reasons i love working in PR so much, always on the hunt for an exciting and compelling story angle to share with people. anyway, my mom also taught me that one of the best things a parent can do for her child, or children, is to read aloud to them. there's definitely a very special kind of love in doing that, which is why i have made it my own "thing" to give books to soon-to-be new mothers.

these three books are a few of my most favorite stories to read aloud. they are also books from my childhood and are especially meaningful to me.

i read The Giving Tree just before wrapping it up, and i started crying. not sure why, but i'm guessing it must have to do with my recent emotional train wreck feelings of general uncertainty about life. ah, life. like the little boy in the story, sometimes i just want a bunch of casual throw-away things, but don't ever really pay quite enough attention to who is giving them. that's not cool. so, i will work on that.

one of these days, i should start buying these favorite old children's books for myself and start a collection or something. what are your favorites from when you were a kid?

crisis evaluation

are you going through a quarterlife crisis? i think i am.

"Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want." -- excerpt from "Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis" by Kate Carraway (i originally found this on one of my favorite blogs, Working Girl. check 'em out.)

if you can, please read the full article to get the gist of what i've written next.

so ... my question is, do you think it's possible to go through a quarerlife crisis as described in Ms. Carraway's article while also being married? it seems like the article is talking about single girls and guys, but i still feel like i fit the bill.

maybe i'm going through a "backward" quarterlife crisis. i already live the ideal life, yet i still feel empty. granted, this isn't all of the time, in fact, it's not even most of the time, but why lately have i been in such a funk?

sometimes i think life for me happened too quickly and too smoothly, and way before i even had a chance to grow up, to be a drama queen (no, teenager doesn't count, an adult drama queen), to make mistakes and all that. while most people spend their twenties exploring who they are and their place in this world, mine was somehow all mapped out with smiley faces and what-not, and being the diligent, faithful, organized person that i am, i followed the directions to a T, never thinking twice and never looking back -- until now.

ugh, moving into a house has just been such a major adjustment (hm, can you tell?!). it's not the actual moving into the house, obviously, but it's the idea of settling down, i.e. "nesting," suburbia, growing up, being old. it's what moving into a house represents. but the thing is, we're NOT old. we're NOT ready to settle. we don't belong. all our neighbors think we're weird, i'm sure of it. they all have kids, teenagers, SUVs, gray hair. seriously, what are we doing here? will it ever feel right?

tatum, welcome to your quarterlife crisis.

memorial day weekend

pretty eventful. we celebrated Sam's 30th birthday over the weekend with a big BBQ bash and pool party, our first major get-together with friends since buying our home. not to brag, but it turned out pretty awesome. highlights included Jamie and Linsy driving out from Vegas totally surprising Sam (he had no idea whatsoever), the "30" cake Linsy and i made which was amazing-looking and tasty, the perfect sunny weather, playing cornhole which Sam spent two weeks building in our garage and with bean bags Rachel graciously made, and of course all our wonderful friends who came -- we had a gang of 20 peeps, i think. the next day, we continued the fun by taking Jamie and Linsy to Disneyland, and it was so much MORE fun because it was Linsy's first time at the most magical, happiest place on Earth. it was hard to go back to work this morning ... enjoy the pics.

go wash your mouth

a term at work that i have been hearing way too much of lately is "low-hanging fruit." it seems to be the new office-speak thing to say these days to express how easy something should be to do or obtain. for example, "we haven't saturated the market yet, there is still a lot of low-hanging fruit out there," or, "to interest a retail reporter about our nationwide retail store expansion, it's like picking the low-hanging fruit."

so it's really that easy, huh? just like picking that low-hanging fruit ... yes, ok, i'm imagining myself right now in a grove of lemon trees and surrounding me are these lemons within an arm's reach. i get it! it sounds so simple. piece of cake. makes me wanna say, "don't wuwy aboud it." and then, like, wait a sec. i'm kinda feeling a little bit of pressure now.

another phrase i can't stand is, "bubble up," as in, "why don't you send me an email with your thoughts, and i'll be sure to bubble it up to management." woa! that's an amazing visual, like, my thoughts and ideas all captured in little soap bubbles and eventually they'll float their little way on up to get paid attention to ... yeah, that sounds likely.

and probably my least favorite office phrase in the whole world is the use of the word, "buckets." the first time i heard "buckets" used in an office setting was during a job interview when the HR lady kept referring to the job description as a bunch of buckets, such as the infrastructure bucket, the executive visibility bucket, and the shared services bucket. here i was, a nervous little girl wearing against her will a suit that made her feel way too masculine, and trying very hard to follow what this crazy was saying.

ok, so there's all these buckets, and i'm assuming they're all a different color and made of bright, shiny plastic, and wait, what? they're all part of a larger bucket? that doesn't make any sense. how many buckets are there? what am i supposed to do with these buckets? i'll be part of a bucket? part of more than one bucket? is that possible? do we all stand in giant buckets or something and type away on our laptops and then jump from bucket to bucket!? eventually, i figured out buckets meant "team." but, oh geez ... !

flexibility is a virtue

i can't tell you how much i appreciate flexibility in a person. these people are types who are easy to work with, they accept change and run with it instead of fighting against it, they embrace chaos with a smile, they keep complaints to a minimum, and they are not demanding. these types of folks are also typically easy to get along with and generally happy people. simply put, they make life easier.

i had a work experience a week or so ago when i thought if it wasn't for a certain individual who had displayed a willingness to just go with the flow given the fast-paced, deadline-driven nature of the given project, i probably would have had to chop my head off or something similarly disastrous. thank you to all the flexible people out there, i appreciate you.

this got me to thinking about the qualities i admire most in a person. what makes me really appreciate someone? what qualities do others have that i wish i had? what is truly admirable? see my top five list below of qualities that would make a gold-standard individual should he or she possess all five:

• flexible
  
• cheerful
• thoughtful
  
• intelligent
• funny

i don't know about you, but in my opinion, it's not often you meet someone who embodies all five of these qualities. if a friend, relative, acquaintance, co-worker, or whoever is even one of these, and genuinely at that, then i am super impressed and am totally drawn to that person in hopes that some of it will rub off on me.

there were a few other qualities that i liked, like spontaneous (which i felt could go under flexible), kind (which could go under thoughtful), and contemplative (which could go under intelligent).

princess

every Monday night is date night, Disney date night. on Disney date nights i drive up to Anaheim after work and meet Sam up on the third floor of the Disney cast member parking lot. he gets inside the car with me and we giggle and get all excited because, hey, it's Disney date night! ready to go? first stop, dinner at a favorite fast food restaurant.

ok, side note here: one of the reasons why Sam and i get along so well is that we have one very important thing in common. we both love fast food. we love it, love it, love it. i don't care how rich or famous we become (or don't become), we will never, ever turn our backs on the deliciously-greasy-delicious-satisfying-brick-in-your-stomach goodness of fast food. and btw, i know that 99% of you disagree with me about the delicious and satisfying part ... freaks!

back to my story. so we enjoy a totally romantical meal (and i'd have to say the funniest part is that we are by far the best-dressed people wherever we end up going to eat, especially Sam in his slacks and button-up shirts, so funny), and at about a quarter to seven we drive back over to the cast member parking lot and walk over to the cast building where it's time for the actual Disney date part: a Disney classic movie on the big screen. yee-haw!

so this week it was 101 Dalmatians. cuuuuute. last week, it was Sleeping Beauty. awwwwww. the week before that it was Lady and the Tramp. sigh! and next week, it's The Sword in the Stone. so coooool. I CAN'T WAIT.

so now to the princess part. watching these old Disney classics every week has made me realize where all my romantic and girly notions have come from. these movies, like Cinderella and my all-time new favorite Peter Pan, are where i learned the meaning of true love and what it's all about, like, being swept off your feet and all that. it's where i learned how to dream about finding prince charming. where my love for perfect hair, shoes, and getting dressed up all began.

now, while i know full well that the feminist in me is rolling her eyes, and instead of embracing the Disney way of love, is blaming the Disney way of love for messing with reality and perpetuating the lofty and unrealistic idea that every girl will find her true love and live happily ever after with her tall, dark, and handsome prince charming - but! i can't help but all too easily push those thoughts aside, just this one time a week, and let the pink fluffy butterflies in my stomach and chest take over. it feels so nice to sit and relax next to Sam, and with a dumb and silly smile on my face, watch these perfect movies and fade away into little girl happiness all over again.

it's true. i've always wanted to be a princess and marry a prince, just like in the movies. being a princess and floating around in a poofy sparkly dress with a diamond-encrusted crown on my head, ahh, there's nothing better. yeah, i know i actually live in "reality," but the princess in me dreaming of a happily ever after will live in my imagination forever.

another step

everyone, meet the newest member of our family. hello, Beastie. life is so full right now that i'm not sure how we managed to squeeze in a cat. i've come to terms that i am no superwoman. can't do it. sometimes i even forget to feed both the cat and the husband.

another reason why Sam thinks i'm loco

i have an intense fear of walking on sidewalks during the night for fear of stepping on a snail. snails just gross me out and the thought of accidently stepping on one as they meander all over the sidewalks at night just gives me the willies more than anything else ever. can you imagine, just walking with the hubby enjoying an after-dinner stroll and then cccrrrunchhh ... slimey stickey grossness all over the bottom of your flip flop. this is a totally new fear for me. since moving to Orange County, i have noticed there are way too many snails around. way too many for our own freekin good. which is why i insist we walk in the middle of the road now when we go walking. to be safe.

growing pains

you would think that after years and years and years of being married (big number seven next month - YIKES), that i would grow old, or at least grow to be old-looking enough, to say that i'm married and that, yes, i've been married for several years (YIKES again, i guess the word "several" pretty much explains it now) and not get people looking at me strange and immediately ask how old i am. right?? but NOW that we own a home, it's dawned on me that this stupid game will never, ever end. now, people are not only shocked that we're not newlyweds when they meet us, but they're also double, no, triple shocked that we also own a home. and why don't we just take that a step further and say that they are quadrupled times a thousand shocked to learn that we have this 4 bdrm house and don't have any kids or pets to fill it up with. uuuuggghghghg. trust me, i am just as shocked every day of my life that i wake up only 27 years old inside a house next to a cute husband that i'm still in love with. i'm grateful, of course, and maybe i'm spoiled too, but that doesn't mean i am seeking out all this unwanted attention and weird looks and disbelief from people. like i said in an earlier post, i HATE feeling naive, and when people think i'm too young all the time for what's going on in my life, it makes me feel all weird inside. sometimes i feel like i'm still 10 years old or something and i wonder what the heck am i doing in this adult body and adult lifestyle. it's just frustrating. i guess here's to growing up and forever trying to convince everyone i'm already there.

three weeks in

everyone, it's gorgeous here in Mission Viejo. the skies are the prettiest blue with fluffy white clouds, just like in the opening sequence of The Simpsons. the streets are curvy and there's lots of hills, i really like that. i'm not a fan of straight flat streets and boxed in neighborhoods. the vegetation here is very lush and there are palm trees everywhere. we have a great view from our driveway of the Saddleback Mts. i love it. almost makes me think we're in UT for a split second seeing how close and magnificent they are. several weeks ago there was still snow up in the peaks and we could make out a few scribbly white lines that must have been ski slopes. did i mention this was from our driveway? super gorgeous. the beach is about 10 miles away, not too long of a drive at all. i love looking at our lawn and examining the dew drops that cling to the tips in the morning. i love checking our mailbox without having to use a mail key. i love having a back yard. we have a few white rose bushes to the side of the house and they're actually blooming right now! oh, and we killed the ants (hopefully) with a full-on assault: Ant Shield granules, ant traps, baby powder, and cucumber peels. ants - GONE. i'm also realizing that i am no good at decorating and deciding how things should look inside the house. my plan is to go to IKEA anytime we need anything because my theory is as long as everything we buy for the house is from the same store, we'll be okay.